Euphemisms and Iran Hostages

Good Friday.

Gus and Gaz came round this morning which was handy because Gaz could manage or 'art direct' the photographer from High Shots who needed to take some more photos of the house. The result - a set of really good high-res, photos.

Want to hear what Dr. Ahmadinejad has been saying from his side of the fence (making allowances for what might be lost in translation). Can you believe anyone any more?

Want to see his (Dr. Ahmadi Nejad, Honourable President of Islamic Republic of Iran) website?

He (or someone doing it for him, is quite an active Blogger http://www.ahmadinejad.ir/ )

Great news that the RN/RM crew are back home.

Here are some IT related spins.........

A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
We are still p**sing in the wind and haven't a clue what to do next.

AN EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
We just hired three kids fresh out of college, they might be able to fix it but the report might buy us some time.

WE HAVE CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
We have decided who we are going to blame.

WE HAVE MADE A MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
It works OK, but looks very techie.

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS ASSURED
We are so far behind schedule the customer will be happy to get anything we deliver.

PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
The darn thing blew up when we switched it on.

TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
We are SO surprised that the thing works.

THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
The only person who understood the thing quit.

IT IS IN THE PIPELINE
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.

WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
No chance, forget it! We have enough problems already.

PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL (This memo.)
We need to spread the responsibility for the screw up.

GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't contradict what we've already done.

GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
I can't wait to hear this bull s**t!

SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
Come into my office, I'm lonely. I need a friend. OR "interrup me if you dare"

ALL NEW
Parts are not interchangeable with the previous design.

RUGGED
Too damn heavy to lift!

LIGHTWEIGHT
Lighter than RUGGED.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
One version finally worked (after a fashion).

ENERGY SAVING
Achieved when the power is switched off.

LOW MAINTENANCE
Impossible to fix if broken. Scrap it, buy a new one - it'll be cheaper than calling an engineer.