Caribbean Call Centres

Caribbean countries win a landmark case against EU Jobsworth Protectionism today.

"This is a truly memorable victory for us," said the Jamaican Trade Minister, Charles Winston Wiclef Johnson, III.

Showing no animosity for the EU Trade Minister (Peter Mandelson), Mr Johnson offered..... "I-ney, everything cook and curry, ease-up, we're gonna drink some rum to celebrate and watch the Cricket World Cup, you wanna come and flex man?"

The Jobsworth Protectionism case came from a dispute when a UK Bank attempted to move it's Call Center operations to the Caribbean where the time for answering calls would take even longer, due to the more chilled out pace of life.

A spokeswoman, for Amicus the UK trade union (Joan Simmonds), said "I remember the days when we could tell people 'Sorry I can't change your address over the phone. You need to pop into your nearest branch with proof of id, recent utility bill, a signature from a respectable member of the community and then wait 28 days to see if we do anything."

As Joan was about to contemplate the pace of change over the years she said, "Can you come back in 20 minutes I'm off for my Tea Break."

Trade Unions had lobbied the EU arguing, that by moving operations to the Caribbean Customers would be forced to deal with operators from a different cultural background to the one they were used to.

Reappearing 50 minutes after her Tea Break was supposed to end, Joan explained "Customers are used to us stuffy and unhelpful Jobsworths telling them 'You can't do that' and 'I need to speak to my Supervisor, please hold'. If callers get put through to a Caribbean Call Center can you imagine how they'll react to 'Yeah, I'll get it sorted when I've slept off my hangover.' and 'No need to give me your credit card details, I've got a 'friend' in Kingston who probably already has yours, if not I can sell you somebody else's details for a large drinkie poo'."

The WTO ordered the EU to lift restrictions immediately, but this was never going to be a realistic target. With the deal having to be ratified by all 27 member countries. The 1000 page forms for ending the restriction have to be completed in triplicate and filled using black ink, not navy blue and then translated into the 6 official languages of the EU.

However, (surprisingly) this monumental task was completed and the forms were signed by all 27 member countries just before the midnight deadline. Ministers and delegates alike were stunned but delighted when they were told by the head EU bureaucrat "I'm sorry Monsieur, but we close at 11.30pm on Wednesdays. You also haven't completed the BNR 1/475/2 form. You should come back in 7 days, with the proper paperwork, signed and correctly dated 7 days from now and allow at least 5 years for us to process it."